“First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn’t so great.”

— Alyssa Milano

A client wrote to me recently with a note that said simply “I need a win.”

Have you been there, where it feels like you have faced a sudden losing streak and quite simply there is a need for a win? I have. I expect Elon Musk is looking for one with Tesla.

Here are a few of the key points I shared with my client.

Take a whine break. Losing hurts. Accept that. Feel free to complain and yell about it. However, you have things to do, so make it short!

“Wow, now I can create new opportunities.” Say that. Mean it… I know a number of people who found getting fired was a horrible thing at the time but it turned great when they found or created a better opportunity. If you have had a series of losses, it means it is an opportunity to create something new.

Define wins that you can achieve right away. If I get stuck writing, I define a win as writing a page. That win leads fairly quickly to writing a whole chapter. Define a win that is useful and significant that leads to the bigger “win” you really want.

Lean on your support system. When you are feeling low, support systems can help you reach that next win. One of the great reasons for people hiring coaches is to help them from choking on their own exhaust. Coaches see outside the system and point out the bigger picture of wins.

Get right back into the game! If you need a win, get back out there. You can’t get wins without playing. There will be losses which will make the wins even sweeter.

So get out there and play!

Yours in the calm pursuit of excellence,

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